Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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