So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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