i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
