I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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