i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
