Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
