bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
