dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
