dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
