I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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