So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
