something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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