Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
