i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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