I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
