Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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