He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
