hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
