Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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