So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
