I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
