I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
