I never want to see another naked old woman again.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
