Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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