Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
