I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
