Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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