Porn is love you can see.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
