Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
