the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
