I wish I could punch you in the face.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
