I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
