They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
