I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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