It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
