my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
