Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
