If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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