Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
NoShamevember. You game?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
