Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
