Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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