Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
