if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
