He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
