I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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