i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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