WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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