I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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