my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You're like the curious george of whores
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
