Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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