I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I can't turn off my feet"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
