Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
