Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
