i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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