You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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