We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
