I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
