the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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