I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
