he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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