I like my sex mixed with concussions.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
