On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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