32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Randomize
