I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
