You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
