I love watching others lives come down to our level.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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